dillusionalthoughts

Sometimes I wonder if my life is worth the time, if the juice is worth the squeeze. Sometimes I stare at the sky and question why its blue and why its called blue or who came up with the fucking word BLUE, but then I accept that I have no clue. Sometimes I ponder my existence with unfocused persistence, sometimes I wonder if I am  a figment of someone else's imagination or if everyone else is a figment of mine. Sometimes I wonder if god is there and if my sins are really forgiven with a prayer and if he, she or it is listening, and if it finds my thoughts at all interesting? Sometimes I contemplate suicide and the consequences ( if any) i

We're all a little messed up... Arent you?

Manifestations of my most personal thoughts rush to the surface of a crumbling wall, embodying an entity of conscious conflictions that hides behind a mask of superficial tissue. Under the confusion and behind a lit cigarette I try to make sense of memories playing in my mind like scenes from a movie I saw too long ago to remember, yet still I try to imagine the details that erupted this state of mental catastrophe. When did it go sour? What once was my Eden is now a mirage. The streets of my own personal El Dorado are now baron and cold with the remembrance of happiness.   The complexity of my predicament grows with each passing hour. Every